CYSO

Auditions for the 2018-2019 Orchestra Season

Last week, my beautiful mother-in-law, Edite Zirnitis Franklin, passed away to close a long and loving life.  As we prepared for yesterday's service, I listened to my family remember Edite, I re-experienced all the love and patience that she had shared with me since I first met her in 1986.  I gathered our remembrances into a family eulogy for the funeral.  As I distributed copies to the family members who read it aloud, it occurred to me that the eulogy is basically a personal statement that helps us remember who she is, learn something that we didn't know about her, and realize that we all would have loved to know her better.  In honor of Edite, I share our eulogy with you here.  


IN CELEBRATION OF EDITE ZIRNITIS FRANKLIN
7/13/1935 - 12/6/2017

Today we celebrate the life of sister Edite Zirnitis Franklin, Bob’s loving wife of 55 years, mother of Lukass, Anna, and Baiba; grandmother of Sarma, Edmund, Tija, Martin, Robby, and Laila; sister of Silvija; daughter of Emils and Elfride; and beloved child of God.

Edite was born in Riga, during the first period of Latvian independence after the first world war.  When Edite was 9 years old, her family fled the Russian occupation at the close of the second world war, with only the possessions that they could physically carry onto the evacuation vessel headed to Germany. They traveled across the country, mostly by train and reliant on food brought to them by kind strangers at various train stops along the way.  

They finally settled in the Valka Camp, where her parents worked to gain skills needed for sponsorship into a new home country. Edite and her sister attended school and participated in the very active cultural life.  Somewhere along the way, she participated in ballet lessons, and learned to sing classical and operatic music.  She also  worked hard to learn English, as her family hoped to make their new home in America.

Five years later, the Zirnitis family was sponsored by a Lutheran resettlement agency in Grand Rapids, where they joined many families from the Valka camp in establishing churches, schools and cultural centers to remember their Latvian language and heritage.  Edite sang in the church choir.  She also quickly learned the difference between school English and real English:  Americans did not speak anything like the way she learned to speak in school and her Latvian accent was difficult for Americans to understand.  

But she was able to attend school, and she worked hard to succeed.  Every night she would translate her lessons into Latvian, learn the information, then translate her work back into English.  Latvians believed in the power of education to makes things “right,” and Edite worked at least twice as hard as her classmates to graduate high school with high honors.    She went on to earn bachelor's and master's degrees in Spanish Language and Literature from the University of Michigan, and earned admittance to a PhD program at the University of California at Berkeley.

Edite’s mother Elfride became ill before Edite could leave for California, and Edite chose to stay home to care for her mother.  Her mother and father both passed away in close succession, before either reached their 60th birthday.  Her faith in God and the support of her Latvian community were critical during this dark time.

In 1962, the brilliant, beautiful, and talented Edite shockingly chose to marry the very dashing and very American Bob Franklin.  Bob was in love, and promised to always be there for Edite.  This included upholding Edite’s connection and commitment to the American Latvian community through his second promise: to always speak in Latvian to their children (nevermind that he spoke not a lick of Latvian at the time).  Thusly, Bob became Edite’s Roberts (because Bob is difficult to decline according to Latvian grammar rules) and the two became one.

Lukass, Anna, and Baiba were Edite’s joy, and she dedicated her life to them.  While the children played with their blocks or their Barbies, she read to them in Latvian -- stories for children as well as great works of literature -- helping the children develop with Latvian as their first language.  The children all learned to read in Latvian very early in life, leaving English language learning for their first days of American school.

Edite was a devoted teacher and scholar of grammar and literature of both Spanish and Latvian.  She taught Spanish at the collegiate level at University of Michigan, Susquehanna University in Pennsylvania, and St. Francis College in Joliet; and also taught at the high school level at the girls Catholic school in Joliet and at Corydon High School.  Edite taught Latvian grammar at Krisjana Barona Latvian School in Chicago and at Garezers Latvian Summer High School in Three Rivers for 11 and 16 years, respectively.  She was a strict teacher who encouraged each student to master the very difficult Latvian grammar, and spent hours finding ways to help her students succeed.  Even the other instructors relied on Edite for authoritative answers on Latvian grammar.

Edite and Robert were a strong team, not only in raising their children, but even in matters of home building.  Did you know that Edite was actually up on the roof of the Joliet house, working at Robert’s side to put on a new roof?  And in Corydon, she was Robert’s wiring partner, helping build that home from scratch.

Wherever they lived, they set deep roots into the local Latvian community.  In Corydon, Edite lead the Louisville Literary Club, a small but dedicated group who met monthly to discuss books and to enjoy one another’s company.  When Latvia gained independence in 1991, Edite and Robert travelled together, renewing ties with distant cousins and establishing ties to the Lutheran Church in Latvia.  As Robert focused his later career on serving Latvian Lutherans, she translated Robert’s prayers and sermons into grammatically correct Latvian, which he delivered in Saginaw, at Garezers, and other places.

However, despite her love for Latvia, Edite’s first love is for family.  She turned down opportunities to relocate to Latvia, because she would not give up regular physical contact with her children, and with their growing families.  She has six grandchildren: three boys and three girls, who love her and miss her.  Let’s have them tell us what they think of when they remember her.

The Grandchildren Speak:

 What do we think of when we think of our vecmamina? Mountains of bacon and eggs… quantities that approach scary; Flavorless rice with chicken; Yelling at Robert in Latvian, correcting his grammar for the gazillionth time; Yelling at Robert in Spanish, thinking that the kids wouldn’t understand; Sucking on lemons, chewing Polar ICE flavored gum, and gummie candies; Soft hands and warm hugs; Lots and lots of house plants; An adult who we never saw drive… but have heard hilarious stories of her driving exploits after she did earn a driver’s license at the age of 50; Really beautiful handwriting; Instant coffee and french vanilla flavored creamer; Recording herself reading Latvian books for the grandchildren to listen to; Lots and lots of stickers on all mailed correspondence...  Something that began as a way to catch the communists when they intercepted letters to her Latvian relatives,  turned into a habit of plastering letters to the grandchildren with stickers of puppies, kittens, and flowers; Joyfully singing in church, moving at her own slower tempo than the congregation, using the Latvian verses even at our American church… and singing with such vigor and authority that the Barrington Presbyterians were concerned that they were singing out of the wrong hymnal; A complete and utter inability to use a phone...  Robert was her switchboard operator; Always right when she asserted herself...  In a good way; Clear and persistent...  It seemed like she would say AR LABU NAKTI at least five times to make sure that we knew she was wishing us a good night; Our Latvian birthday songs: once in English, once in Latvian.  We sing it for Edite today, because it teaches us how to live.

 Daudz baltu dieniņu Laimiņa dodi,
Diženi, raženi dzīvojoti!
Diženi, raženi dzīvojoti!
Daudz baltu dieniņu Laimiņa, dodi,
Diženi, raženi strādājoti!
Diženi, raženi strādājoti!
Daudz baltu dieniņu Laimiņa, dodi,
Diženi, raženi mīlējoti!
Diženi, raženi mīlējoti!
______________END EULOGY_______________

PRAYERS FOR THE REST OF US

Psalm 23: Edite’s Favorite
1 The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
2     He makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside still waters;
3     he restores my soul.  He leads me in right pathsfor his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk through the darkest valley,  I fear no evil; for you are with me;    your rod and your staff--    they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me    in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil;    my cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me   all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord  my whole life long.

Jeremiah 31:13 Then shall the young women rejoice in the dance, and the young men and the old shall be merry. I will turn their mourning into joy, I will comfort them, and give them gladness for sorrow.

Matthew 5:4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Isaiah 66:13 As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you; you shall be comforted in Jerusalem.

A recent column in the New York Times rubbed me the wrong way.  Entitled "Navigating Our Shameful, Maddeningly Complex Student Aid System," author Ron Lieber excoriates the entire monetary structure of college costs, financial aid, and the process of securing an affordable college experience. He recommends that "If you have a child who is already walking and talking and you will not be able to write a check to pay tuition, it’s best to start studying up on it now or finding a political candidate to support who will blow it all up."  I disagree with his conclusion, and believe that determining where to go for college and figuring out how to pay for it can be an extremely insightful and satisfying process. 

In all fairness, Ron Lieber's lens "is about anything and everything that hits you in the wallet, from investing to paying for college to mortgages and homes." In contrast, my lens is focused on your child: who they are now, what they have done and experienced, what are their passions, and how they would best be equipped to explore and develop their true vocation.  When we look at the college search from this perspective, and rigorously evaluate potential colleges with high standards for their ability to develop our children through the next stage, things fall in to place rather quickly.

When you look at colleges from an economist's perspective, you quickly reduce your student and all colleges to simple commodities.  In contrast, the truth is that your student is unique, and that colleges vary in their abilities to meet your student where they are and to challenge them to develop into who they can be.  When it comes to your student, colleges are not interchangeable; where your child decides to spend their college year will have an impact on how fully they take advantage of this time in their life.

Mr Lieber writes:  "...colleges will offer discounts ...if the school feels it needs to raise the quality of its freshman class in order to appear more attractive to future applicants who can (the hope is) afford to pay more."  Intending to condemn the colleges for this process, this statement misses the opportunity for the student who really figures themselves out.  A college that is well equipped to help a student meet their objectives will naturally be more inclined to make sure that these students have the financial support necessary to attend.

When students understand who they are, what they have accomplished so far, and what excites them about the future, they become able to recognize when the college  seems to have been built just for them.  These colleges have invested in the arts, athletics, academic disciplines in ways that form "a vibe" that works for the student.  The students at these colleges are already engaged in activities and academics that create a learning and social environment that will just feel "right" to your student.   

It's easy to believe that only students whose families can afford the college experience have the luxury to demand that their college 'fit.'  But the opposite is true: students whose families cannot afford the sticker price may only be able to afford to attend the "right" college.  Colleges need students that reinforce "the vibe"  (a.k.a. "the brand") as much as students need colleges that can fulfill their expressive, social, and academic development over the course of their college career.   Because colleges need students who reinforce "the vibe," the college that is "right" will have more incentive to make sure that you can afford to attend (vs. the college that does not have the activities and programs to fully develop your gifts).

Students who are willing to engage in my process of self-discernment, and discerning how well a college "fits," are rewarded with college acceptances with significant scholarships.  In my experience, the colleges that "fit" well generally offer scholarships of $20K or more, usually awarded concurrently with admission.  Additional dollars are often available; the need-based dollars are secured through completing your FAFSA application, and discussion with the college admission and financial aid office can secure additional funds.     In contrast, colleges that are poor fits will offer lower (or no) scholarship dollars, basically signalling that you are welcome as long as you pay cash.

It is all about "fit."  A college that recognizes the "fit" that you identify (and describe) will reward that "fit" with more scholarship money than the college that sees no particular "fit."  Those same college that recognize the "fit" will be more excited about helping you afford attending that particular college.  

Good luck with your college search!  I am available to provide individualized college search services.  Just contact me to get started.