Lawyer as Guardian Angel

Rosie (not her real name) is a a vibrant, generous, strong young woman in her Junior year of high school.  She loves school, loves her family, and is the family's resident optimist.  She never complains.  Until she was in unimaginable pain and was having difficulty breathing.  Her mom and pediatrician knew that something was seriously wrong.

Thankfully, an intense ER and ICU encounter led to a diagnosis and a treatment.  It was a pulmonary embolism, a condition that rarely is diagnosed in teenagers; her mom tells me that sometimes the only symptom is a back ache.  The treatment with blood thinners was tolerated well, and will need to continue for a few months; and possibly for the rest of her life.  The cause of this pulmonary embolism is unknown.  It is going to take months to figure it all out.

"Her resilience amazes me and reminds me how blessed I am. "
--Rosie's Mom

In the meantime, Rosie looks great.  She is up and about, back to her old self, and wanting this to just go away.   She is still a High School Junior about to have a very important academic year.  Rosie's mom is, understandably, overwhelmed by the fright of a mysterious serious illness and the newness of the situation.  How do we respect Rosie's need to live life as usual, while at the same time protecting her from some of the risks related to her diagnosis and her treatment?

Staying "on track" with life, while mapping out a new track for health.

I worked with mom to understand what we know medically so far, what we are still trying to understand, and what kind of dangers we know about right now.  I talked mom through her worries, while celebrating all that is wonderful about Rosie.  

We agreed that despite the unknowns presented by the medical stuff, it is absolutely critical that we ensure that the school is prepared to continue Rosie's path through the known process of what comes after high school: adult life and college.  

I drafted a memo that detailed the relevant medical information, the continuing need to seek medical care, the new issues that could arise during the school day, and the importance of building accommodations that would allow Rosie to maintain her place as a high achieving student.

For Rosie, proposed accommodations included:

• sharing the seriousness of the medical condition, and the need for several more months of potentially disruptive medical tests and monitoring;
• educating teachers and staff about the social confusion that comes with Rosie looking great, but still having a serious medical condition that continues to baffle the experts;
• securing a "plan B" for receiving her medications at school if she should somehow forget or be unable to get her medication at home before arriving at school;
• securing additional passing time and elevator privileges to protect against overexertion and against jostling that could cause unusual (and dangerous) bruising and bleeding;
• securing support and services that celebrate what has not changed (her identity as a great student) and to help her through what has changed (her inability to take her health for granted).

With a well-documented statement of medical information, accompanied by a list of accommodations designed to minimize disruption to Rosie's school day, the school was able to recognize the practicality of implementing an IEP.  Rosie's mom ran the meeting on her own, and came out of it enthused.  "We have an IEP in place... [t]here was zero pushback."

By enlisting this lawyer to help organize all the overwhelming information, Rosie's mom ran the school meeting like the wonderful mother she is.  All the technical issues of what sort of school response is federally required were clearly documented, and did not require Rosie's mom to fight for her daughter's rights.  With the rights clearly established, Rosie's school was ready to start discussing the best ways to ensure Rosie's continued academic success. 

The administration was AWESOME.  We have an IEP in place... [t]here was zero pushback..."      --Rosie's mom

As parents, we worry.  Maybe the school won't believe that we need the help.  Maybe the school won't be fair about how they help.  Maybe our children will be punished for not being perfect.  These are worries that the school accommodations laws address.  Securing a lawyer to help dissolve these worries by applying your facts to the laws lets you focus on parenting.

And there is a lot of parenting to do when your children are facing medical crises.  Our children worry about whether they will be all right, whether they will have to give up dreams, whether you are going to be able to deal with this medically, emotionally, and financially.  This is on top of the normal teenage worries about friends, grades, acne, college plans, etc.  Especially when your children are "medical puzzles" or "medical mysteries," there is tremendous uncertainty about what will come next. 

"Externally my daughter looks great. 
Physically and psychologically not so much. 
Thank you for helping me navigate that and for understanding all my fears. ...
There is so much more psychological healing that needs to be addressed than physical. This is my new crusade."      --Rosie's mom

That they need us to be their moms and dads is great news.  You know how to do that.

I want to be the lawyer that helps parents get the rest of the world "in line."  Who helps you organize what you know, and create a list of questions that need to be answered by your medical team to reduce uncertainty.  Who helps you present the necessary facts to authorize and obligate your child's school to accommodate their reality.  

Rosie's mom tells me that I am "an angel who does not need wings."  With Rosie's medical crisis, her mom was suddenly a "newbie" in the world of parents who deal with these things.  The fears we experience when our children are critically ill, and when we don't have good medical answers that lead to a cure, can be paralyzing.  But our children need us to show them that life does go on.  Who they are has not changed.  How we do things might have changed, but they are still the beloved child who will do great things in this world.

Who would've thunk a lawyer could help with that?  

To contact me to provide assistance with your situation, or to contact Rosie's mom, please fill in the form below.